The Smartest Person in the Room – an Obituary for Mary Ellen Matras

Mary Ellen Matras (née Ostrem) died on Thursday, April 24, 2025, in Detroit, Michigan. She was 89 years old. It was a magnificent, sun-filled Spring day and she was surrounded by her family.

Mary Ellen was born on September 8, 1935 in Green Bay, Wisconsin, the first-born daughter of Stanley J. Ostrem and Barbara Ostrem (née Grignon). Mary Ellen is survived by her two younger sisters, Patricia Curtis and Ann Ledet, and has been reunited with their parents and three baby brothers, Richard, Robert and Edward, in the heavenly realm of their Creator.

From a young age, Mary Ellen found pleasure in reading books. Patricia fondly recalls her sister always having a book in her hand, which is to say Mary Ellen was curious and intelligent from the start. It was in her very essence. "She was my encyclopedia," Ann says of her big sister; and it is largely agreed upon, among kin and friends alike, that if you wanted to know the answer to something, anything, you had to ask Mary Ellen – a woman perpetually referred to as the smartest person in the room.

Mary Ellen graduated from Sacred Heart High School in 1953 and received a Ford Foundation scholarship, bolstering a full ride to any college of her choosing. She chose to attend Marygrove College – then, a prestigious all women's Catholic College in Detroit. There she diligently studied to be an educator, fostered community with other like-minded women and refined her head-turning sense of style. A beautiful, elegant young lady, Mary Ellen did a fair amount of harmless socializing with eligible young men, but was known for refusing to go steady. Until, that is, she met Eddie.

Edmund J. Matras was on leave from the service when he asked Mary Ellen to be his date to a buddy's party. After she confirmed that she was no longer needed to babysit the Grignon cousins, she accepted, and so began a nearly 70 year long love story. They were married in 1958 at St. Anselm's Catholic Church. Edmund becomes a romantic when he speaks of his wife, and if you catch him in the proper mood, he'll tell you how he loved her sense of humor, how smart she was, and "that God broke the mold when He made her. She was a gem." At 91 years old, the man remains freshly smitten.

Mary Ellen and Edmund raised their four children in Dearborn, Michigan – Beth Ann, Eric, Edmund Robert (Rob) and Mark. As they built their family and their home, Mary Ellen also embarked on building a career as a kindergarten teacher, joining the ranks of working mothers in the late 1950s. Later, she would earn her Master's Degree in Child Psychology from the University of Michigan.

Through her example, Mary Ellen taught her children, nieces and nephews that they can do anything, regardless of their sex. She showed them how to pursue a proper education and work hard. Mary Ellen fiercely supported her children, and later her grandchildren, through each of their own careers and pursuits. She joined the AAUW in 1980 and remained a loyal, active member through the end of her life. As her daughter Beth Ann recalls with great admiration, "my mom always left big shoes to fill."

When it came time to retire from her decades-long career as an educator, she was well known and regarded in the community, touted by many as their favorite teacher. She was celebrated for her warmth, her joyful singing, dancing and love of children's poetry. Though she found it difficult to leave her babies (as she called her students), she knew it was time to pursue another passion – travel.

Eddie and Mary Ellen spent their retirement years traveling around the globe, largely with their dear friends, Edmund's first cousin Eileen Matuszewski and her late husband Marion. To this day, Mary Ellen and Eddie's bookshelves are curated with worldly souvenirs and packed to the brim with photo albums, each labeled by country – France, Greece, Poland, Egypt, China, Russia and Peru, among many more. Edmund describes this chapter in their love story as particularly wonderful.

Mary Ellen is survived by her husband of 66 years, daughter Beth Ann Knisely, and sons Eric Matras (wife Gwyneth), Rob Matras and Mark Matras (wife Debra). She also leaves behind seven grandchildren, Kirsten Knisely, Caitlyn Knisely, Jeremy Matras, Matthew Matras, Raquel Matras, Hugh Matras and Roland Matras; and two great grandsons, Theodore Matras and Grayson Matras.

We will remember Mary Ellen, our matriarch, for her wit, her courage, her cooking, her love of jazz music, her iconic fashion sense, her ability to be blunt, her ability to take a joke, her holiday decorations, her singing voice, and her gentle patience; not to mention the countless adventures she insisted we take, and the easy way she loved us until the very end of her Earthly stay. A love so powerful it lingers still.

Mary Ellen passed after a long hospital stay and a battle in which she defied the odds at more than one juncture; an unforgettable effort to keep living, described by her family as a final grand gesture for her beloved leading man. When Mary Ellen took her final breath, Edmund said, "goodbye, sweetheart," and someone noted that Mac the Knife was playing softly on the radio. A classy exit for the classiest of dames. A real gem.

Visitation for Mary Ellen will be Sunday, May 4, 2:00pm until 8:00pm with a Rosary at 7:00pm at Howe-Peterson Funeral Home and Cremation Services, 22546 Michigan Ave, Dearborn MI. Funeral Services will be Monday, May 5, in-state 11:30am with the Mass at 12:00pm at St. Anselm Parish, 17650 W. Outer Drive, Dearborn Heights.